Boys.....

GOTTA LOVE LITTLE BOYS

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' Eight,' the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one.'

Christmas Season Begins..........

2009's First Christmas Joke
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

Tobacco Industry Hit Again.....

Nearly overnight, roll-your-own brands like Criss Cross and Farmers Gold came off the shelves, replaced by pipe tobacco with the same names. The cuts may be slightly different, but they're suitable for rolling. Knowing this, retailers steer customers to the new products, sometimes with a wink and a nod, sometimes with outright advertising.
Tobacco companies say they're just trying to find a legal way to stay afloat after being saddled with an enormous tax increase. But both the Obama administration and some in Congress say they'll try to come up with a distinction between the tobacco types, closing a loophole that could cost taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars year.

28th Amendment...........

Time for a 28th Amendment

When the people fear their government there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty. Thomas Jefferson

Amendment 28

Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United

States that does not apply equally to the Senators or Representatives,

and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators or

Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the

United States .

Let's get this passed around, folks - these people have brought this upon themselves!!!

Today's World........

How the world works lately...

If a man cuts his finger off while
slicing salami at work,
he blames the restaurant.


If you smoke three packs a day
For 40 years and die of lung cancer,
your family blames the
tobacco company..


If your neighbour crashes
into a tree while driving home drunk,
he blames the bartender.


If your grandchildren are
Brats without manners,
you blame television.


If your friend is shot by a
deranged madman,
you blame the gun manufacturer.



And if a crazed person breaks
into the cockpit and
tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet,
and the passengers
kill him instead,
the mother of the crazed deceased
blames the airline.


I must have lived too long to
understand the world
as it is anymore.

So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer,
I want all of you to
blame Bill Gates.